A friend and I had a good -- if somewhat wine-induced -- conversation last night about a common frustration: our friends' lack of willingness to decide, commit, and confirm social events. To clarify, I am referring to all the forms of vaguery and lack of follow-up involved with making any group decision or plan.
For example:
Not responding to invitations or, even worse, replying "maybe" and never confirming a firm "yes" or "no." This makes it really hard to know how much food to buy for a party, no?
Not replying to important messages/e-mails regarding plans, leaving everyone else unclear as to what is happening. Nothing is more fun like having to wait for days and send multiple reminders to get a simple question answered.
Committing to a plan, then simply not following-through, usually followed by a vague apology and sometimes a bit of frustration that you are trying to "pin them down." You know, they guy who promises to bring ice, then forgets, and gets frustrated that you reminded him what he agreed to do.
After some commiseration and sharing of tales, we concluded that there seems to be a reluctance out there to either commit to something at the possible exclusion of others and a fear of saying "no," lest you not end up with a better option in the end. In other words, many people (at least those in our friend/acquaintance circle) seem to be working very hard to avoid one of two unwanted outcomes:
Missing out on the ideal outcome/activity by committing to a sub-ideal outcome.
Missing out on the ideal outcome/activity by saying "no," and ending up with the sub-ideal outcome.
So, people must be concluding that if they make no decision or commitment until the last minute, they are preserving all of their options, thus ensuring the best possible outcome. In addition, they get frustrated with others who push them for a commitment -- one way or another -- because they feel pressure to forego options.
This dynamic of lack of decision, commitment, and communication is encroaching into the business world... and it's not a good thing. We are creating logjams for our teams and businesses that do nothing but suck value out of the system and hold back the very people who can and will get things done.
For example:
People let e-mails stagnate in their inbox, stalling important communication threads that impact other people. Set aside broadcast e mails or spam, none of which requires a response, but how many of our e mails represent unresolved communication threads? How many people are awaiting a response so they can confirm plans, make next steps, get the "go ahead" to take action, or just confirm that their communication has been received? What is holding us back from replying and keeping the process moving? Not only are we buried under dozens (thousands?) of unopened messages, we are likely holding our colleagues back from doing their jobs.
People promise to follow-up, only to miss the deadline missed with no communication. Whether it is a commitment to return a report, sign a document (ask any sales rep about promised contracts that never appear), follow-up with a meeting invitation, or even send comments/feedback, we have come to accept that we will have follow-up or even nag someone to have them meet the commitment they made to us to decide and respond. How much time and energy is wasted on all these missed deadlines and frequent reminders? How many professional relationships have soured because what could have been a fairly simple transfer of information resembles a debt collection
People see their project delayed, initiatives stalled, and customers inconvenienced because others inject themselves into a review/approval process and then stop responding to the very requests they mandated. We have all been there: 'all contracts over $10,000 must be approved by such-and-such VP, but that VP is notorious for not replying to e-mails and must be reminded (nagged) repeatedly, or even 'caught in the hallway' to get the approval done.' This wastes time, slows innovation, and demoralizes the team. I am all for good governance and controls, but I am an unapologetic believer that anyone in a control position is obliged to do their job on a timely basis and to follow the process they established. I once heard an executive say that he deliberately avoids responding to requests to see who really wants something, as shown by repeated attempts to get an answer. What a waste!
So, what should we do about the decision/commitment/communication logjam, at least in our professional lives? I don't fool myself into thinking that there is a simple solution to this, but I do think that all business professionals (including myself) should focus on a few key improvements to break this cycle:
Strive for "inbox zero." I will let others cover e-mail management strategies, but what if all professionals committed to the ideal of leaving no loose ends? By forcing the issue, perhaps we can learn the root cause of delays, information overload, and excessive communication. I don't mean that all communications require immediate reply, but by moving everything out of the inbox, even if to create a task to complete later, perhaps we can isolate and act on the truly urgent communications.
Commit to the deadlines you set, or fess up and let others know that you will miss them. I am not asking anyone to blindly agree to deadlines that others want to set for you, just the ones you set for yourself. If you agree to call someone by end of day Thursday, then either make the call (preferably) or let them know that you have run out of time and need to reschedule. Leaving them hanging is not an option.
Focus on the virtue of "clean plates." Maybe you will miss a communication of interest, or maybe you will commit to an event that you may later regret, but weigh that risk against the cost to others if you never make a decision or never get that task done. In addition, think about how good it will feel to go home knowing that you have acted-on or triaged all of the communication threads from the people you care about. There is no "perfect balance" here, but by balancing the need to review/read/evaluate with the need to allow others to move forward, you are at least empathizing with their needs as well as yours. Remember that leaving open issues on your plate is likely leaving just as many open issues on others'.
Be willing to hold others accountable. No one wants to be a nag, but if no one holds anyone accountable for commitments made, then the commitments quickly become meaningless. If your colleague said that they will review a document and have comments for you by the end of the week, feel free to let them know that the deadline has passed. I would even advise that managers advise their teams that no one (including the boss) has the unlimited right to hold things up. If you can't review the document, attend the meeting, or join the conversation, either delegate or go along with others' recommendations.
Spend some time understanding the root cause of the commitment problem. Are people genuinely overloaded? Have you injected yourself into too many processes? Are delays seen as a passive-aggressive "form of control?" Is your team unaware of how communication delays and lack of decision commitment impacts others in the organization? None of these questions will generate easy answers, but they will start an important dialog that will likely uncover many other sources of delay and waste.
I too am a work-in-progress on following-up and clearing my decision/commitment/ communication logjam, but I am willing to work on it. People deserve a response to legitimate communications and I owe it to myself to clear my plate and get the clutter of open issues off my mind. Fingers crossed, I will see good things come from this and I will influence a few other people to give commitment a chance.
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